literature

Thomas And Friends Abridged: The OK story of Henry

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Literature Text

Once an engine with an IQ that was low,
Was afraid of the falling H2O,
He went into hole,
And used logic of a troll,
And wouldn't come out again.
The engine's name was Henry although the other engines sometimes called him "fat*ss". This was because he would always use the lamest excuses or reasons not to do his work, today was no different.
"The rain will cause me melt like the wicked witch of the west," said Henry.
"Wha, what bloody idiot told you that," replied his driver.
"The Wizard of Oz did, the witch was green and I'm green so I'll melt" said Henry.
"And what gives you that bleeding idea," said his fireman.
"Well look my paint is falling off so soon I will start falling apart."
"No the only reason your paint is falling off is because the fat man only buys the non-waterproof paint to save like a nickel," replied his driver.
"I heard that," said a voice, it was the fat controller, or known as the fat man by everyone else," and I save 6 cents by buying that paint."
"Yeah 6 cents, good money saved," replied the Fireman.
"Henry if you don't want to come out then we'll pull you out."
They  tied the rope to Henry's coupling.
"3,2,1 PULL!"
"Hey, what about you," asked a passenger.
"Oh, um, my doctor has forbidden me to pull."
"Really can I see the doctor's note?"
POW
"Anybody else wanna see the doctor's note, no, good now pull."
They pulled and they pulled until several arms had been dislocated, and 5 passed out.
"Meh wimps," said the fat controller," fine then we shall pull you out."
So they went to the back and got in a line.
"3,2,1 Push!"
"Hey, what about you?"
"I can't my doctor has forbidden me to push."
"Can I see this note?'
POW
"Now any more questions, OK PUSH.
They pushed until several women had quit do to groping and several more had passed out.
"Fine pushing and pulling won't work we'll blow-"
Thomas, what the hell are you doing, you're not supposed to be in this episode.
"I'm going to push Henry out of the tunnel so we can do the next episode."
Everyone argued with him until they realized it was no use.
"Henry we have Thomas attempting to push you out."
"So he's just a puny little tank engine, he won't be able to push me out."
"And if that fails we'll be forced to blow you out."
"What do you m-mean," asked Henry fearfully.
"We'll attach  Dynamite to your train."
"Well what I am I waiting for I'm almost 10 minutes late." said Henry
Henry started puffing away very quickly.
"That always works," said The Fat Contoller.
"Uh, you do realize you're not on the train right," said one of his bodyguards.
"Wait, HEY get back here you moron."
"Hey the trains moving I did it, I- Crap," said Thomas.
He had just realized he had forgot to uncouple from the train.
"Wow this feels amazing, the wind on my face the air on my pistons," said Henry.
"Slow down, I have never been in so much pain," wailed Thomas.
"Yeah I feel so great I could probably do this twice in a row," said Henry.
"I'm going to hurl," wailed Thomas.
"Yes this is amazing I feel incredible, YES, YES, YES, YES I can win, I feel great, I CAN DO THIS!"
BLEAURGH
"DAMMIT THOMAS THAT"S COMING OUT OF YOUR PAYCHECK," yelled the fat controller attempting to catch up to the train.
Eventually the train arrived at a station, poor Thomas' wheels had been practically ground into a powder, but I guess that's what he gets for interfering with the plot. Henry shunted Thomas into a siding where some workmen started fixing him.
"Ugh that sucked," panted Thomas still trying to catch his breath," at least I'll be the star in the next episode."
Actually you won't
"WHAT," yelled Thomas.
We're going by the Railway series and you don't get a main story until Gordon and Edward are introduced, so consider yourself lucky if I decide to give you a starring role in Episode 3.
"Bullsh-" said Thomas before being interrupted by the non-existent credits.
Something new I'm trying out feel free to tell me how I can improve, also expect Episode 2 by next week at the latest.
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Comments9
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SwindonSudrian's avatar
Pretty good so far. Let's see how Episode 2 will turn out.